Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
