Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
