Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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