I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize