That's intense
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
