Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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