its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
