What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize