i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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