He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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