ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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