just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize