Your tits are I can't wait for
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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