It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
