do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
