I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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