Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
