if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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