Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
