Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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