i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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