Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
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I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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