i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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