I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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