what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
