Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.