Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
