he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me