Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think my mom watched the whole time
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.