this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.