yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.