Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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