I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk