at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
