I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize