There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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