just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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