if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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