will power is for people who don't want to get laid
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
