I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
