Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
