how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
