I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
