you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
