Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize