Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
