sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
