why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
