just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
