She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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