I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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