It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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