So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize