you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Randomize
