Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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