You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
