Don't you send me to vm
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
