Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
3pm strippers are depressing
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
