Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
