Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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