your parents love me but you hate me
White coat. Heels.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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