Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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