Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
