Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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