i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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