You work out of a Hotel?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
